A while ago, I provided a guide to the poop antics of our canine companions. This article is to shed some light on the types of poop our friends leave behind. While it is written in a light-hearted manner, bear in mind that the type and appearance of a dog's droppings is a very important indicator of health. Enjoy!

1. The Tootsie-Roll: This looks exactly as the name implies. Solid, firm, brownish, with defined sections. Not overly large despite the size of the dog. Your dog is pretty healthy and eats quality food. These are easy to pick-up when out walking and don't smell very bad. This is the poop all dogs should be proud of (owners, too!)

2. The Hot Pocket: This poop is what you find after its had a chance to bake in the sun. Crispy on the outside, toxic, molten horror on the inside. Its hard to tell if its a healthy poop or not.

3. The Nickelodeon Poop: This name was bestowed by a teenage boy after cleaning up my backyard (producer of this horror was an elderly dog.) The NP is slimy, green and smells awful. Usually an indicator of some sort of intestinal issue, like gastroenteritis. Not easy to pick up, best to just hose it into oblivion.

4. The Cow Patty: That's exactly what it looks like. Not quite Montezuma's Revenge but just as difficult to clean up. See #3 for clean up tip.

5. The Party Favor: This one usually has bits of brightly colored plastic, paper or string in it. Some dogs will eat anything. Not bad to clean up unless it isn't fully released from the pooper. Be prepared for manual extraction.

6. The Ol' Roy: These are roughly the size of a Volkswagen...and that's from a Chihuahua. This food is cheap, full of fillers and has no identifiable meat ingredient. It should be considered cruelty to animals to serve this food.

If you have any additions to this list please send them. I'm always looking for humor in the strangest places!

Victoria AKA Pigpen and her friend Charlie had a playdate last week. They romped, they stomped and they were tired in a good way afterwards. Charlie's mom, Bobbie, sent me these pictures:



Nice job of trying to look innocent guys!

Once again we look across the pond at our odd friends, the British. If you've ever wanted to see a guy shower (rated G) with a squirrel, this video is for you. Enjoy!

Clicky the nutty linky.

Despite staggering debt, record unemployment and unprecedented home foreclosures, there is a bright spot in the US today. Scientists have discovered the truth to the question, "Can Dogs Look Guilty?" Clicky here.

I feel much better now that I know.

I cannot take credit for any of these brilliant little gems.

Anxiously I sit
My owner still is watching
As I take my poop

the pale moon mocks me
scent of poop in the night wind
flies in the distance

Humans discuss words
I speak my mind in small clumps
Poop dropping like words

Rear lowered tail up
Defecation completion
Repeat when needed

Hair, tissues, rubber
Sometimes a piece of clothing
All in my dog's poop

Dog poop in the sun
Heaven for the flies all day
Better out then in

Outside, hunched over
A piece of me hits the ground
Part of digestion

Body shakes waiting
Pooporial egress slow
Happiness when done

I can see the pad
but I prefer the bare floor
poop, poop, poop, poop, poop

I drive a 2004 Nissan Xterra. I bought it to replace my 2000 Xterra, that was destroyed by a drunk driver. I had 115 thousand miles on that truck and it was permanently embedded with dog hair. In fact, I think the carpet had long ago become dog hair. It took to me to many hiking places, transported many dogs to new lives and occasionally was crammed to the gills with kids, dogs, snow gear and whatever else we could find. I even had Spongebob seatcovers.

When I bought the '04, I deliberately sought out one with leather seats. Not because of looks, but because the dog hair wouldn't stick. The plan was to be able clean it out with a leaf blower. That's when it wasn't full of dogs, dog and cat food, small animal cages and tanks, kids, or anything else. Let's just say the idea seemed good in concept, but not execution.

Because I'm a rescuer and everything else that I do, it now has almost 109 thousand miles. I bought it December 9, 2004. Yup thats right. Long haul truckers and rescuers are the only people crazy enough to drive that much. Thank God for satellite radio. I think I'm on my sixth one. One was stolen and the others died from exposure to the sun, rocky terrain, dogs and spills. Fortunately, they usually die around payday. Life listening to terrestrial radio blows. Seriously, how many freaking pledge drives can NPR have in one week? Or are they just permanent now? Satellite NPR is pledge drive free! Yay!

It's also handy to have a vehicle that permanently holds items for rescue. I'm always picking stray dogs up and looking for their owners. Sunday I picked up a very sweet black Lab, who went for a stroll without her collar. I had my microchip scanner and a spare leash handy and I managed to locate her owner pretty quickly. He had taken her collar off to give her a bath and she decided to explore. Persuading her to get in the truck was easy, it probably smells like doggie potpourri. I've seen people walk their dogs by it and the dog will hit the brakes and sniff like crazy. I'm pretty much immune to it by now.

I love my poor truck. The hood has a dent from pulling out a fence post at a friend's house. The inside window frames have bite marks from Mulan spotting cats. Two seatbelts were chewed off by Mulan (she is definitely not a car dog.) Dogs have peed in it, pooped in it, puked in it and one died in it on the way to the hospital. I've even given teenage boy a few driving lessons in it. Despite my relentless abuse I hope to have it for many years to come. After all, I'm a rescuer. And I'm proud to have a vehicle that shows it.

I have a lot of spiders on my property. You aren't likely to see them, but their webs are all over the place. I really don't mind as long as I don't run into one. When I used to have the place sprayed every month, I saw very few webs. But, in my efforts to use as few pesticides as possible, I have found that the spiders do a much better job than any pest control company and their toxic sprays.

Most of the spiders I encounter in the house are wolf spiders and "daddy longlegs" spiders. Black widows are not fans of light and activity so they tend to hand out in the garage. The BW spiders do a great job keeping the mouse population in check. Mouse babies ("pinkies") seem to be a favorite meal for them. The other spiders are harmless and enjoy snacking on houseflies and whatever other bug they may encounter. Since I started leaving the webs alone, the housefly population has taken a noticeable dive.

Most people fear spiders and, while I don't, I can understand. Walking into a hidden web is pretty annoying. Especially if you have long hair. Our current national obsession with being "green" should include allowing spiders to do their job. They are very good at it and do it for free. That's definitely a plus in my book. There is a reason God made the spider, in all it's infinite varieties. He knew Mother Earth needed a helping hand and someday so would we.

Clicky linky

'No kidding' for retiring goat Billy the Goat has been with the Army most of his life. He has seen service overseas, met royalty and led every battalion parade, but after eight years on the job, it is time for William Windsor to retire. But unlike other old soldiers, this veteran will be spending his final days in a zoo - because he is the regimental goat, better known as Billy.

The four-legged member of 1st Battalion the Royal Welsh was cheered from his trailer with pomp and ceremony. He will spend his honourable retirement at Whipsnade Zoo in Bedfordshire. The nine-year-old was led into his trailer by the battalion's Goat Major in full ceremonial dress, in preparation for a journey to the zoo. The route from his pen to the trailer was lined by soldiers from the regiment to say farewell and thank you to Billy for his many years of good service.

Billy was not a mascot but a ranking member of the regiment. His main role was marching at the front of the battalion on all ceremonial duties. He spent two-and-a-half years overseas in Cyprus when the battalion was posted over there and has lived in Chester since their return. During his time in Cyprus, he was even disciplined and temporarily demoted from his rank of Lance Corporal to Fusilier for not marching in time during a parade for the Queen's birthday.

Billy had his own full-time carer during his military service , Lance-Corporal Ryan Arthur, known as the goat major, who ensured his welfare at all times. Captain Nick Zorab said: "Every parade the regiment has taken part in, he's been there. He'll have met members of the royal family. "He's being retired to Whipsnade Zoo. It's just (because of) his age. "He's eight years old now, so he's got a few more years left. "The soldiers themselves love having him - it's a bit of a novelty in these days. He's very friendly and not aggressive at all. "He likes being out and about and meeting people. We have never had any complaints."

Soldiers from the battalion lined the route from his pen to the trailer as he left the camp for the last time. His replacement will be chosen from a herd on the Great Orme in Llandudno in June.

Today, I am mining BBC's Children's page for this heartwarming pictorial about a persistent parakeet and a fluffy feline. Enjoy!

Klicky for Kitties and Keets!

I love the show "House." Sometimes the case is a complete snooze and they regularly try to kill their patients, but the personal relationships between the characters are very well written. Last night's season finale was superb and I was thrilled they found the culprit making this week's patient ill, because it is a substance I have been warning pet owners about for years.

Propylene Glycol.

Propolyne Glycol is used in pet food and treats, primarily as a way to keep them moist or chewy. But it's also used for:

As a solvent used in mixing photographic chemicals, such as film developers;
As a working fluid in hydraulic presses;
As an ingredient, along with wax and gelatin, in the production of paintballs;

I replaced the anti-freeze in my truck with PG. Ethylene glycol is what is usually in the cooling system of a vehicle, but as little as a teaspoon can kill a healthy pet. It's sweet and very attractive to animals. The death from it is pretty awful.

So, over the years I've tried to educate people about reading the ingredients of their pet's food and treats. There are many great products out there without chemicals like Propolyne glycol and I encourage you to try them. Your pets will thank you. And if House were a real doctor I'm sure he would, too.

This isn't really animal related but it's called "Swine" Flu so I thought I would weigh in. After all, I have never lacked for an opinion on things. So here are a few facts about the H1N1 virus you should know:

1. You can't catch it from eating pig products. This should come as a massive relief to fans of bacon everywhere.
2. In California, you are more likely to die from a car crash. Or a gunshot wound. Or asthma. Or drug overdose. H1N1 sounds like a walk in the park!
3. More people died in Italy's recent earthquake than have died so far from flu. So don't expect a visit from the Pope any time soon.
4. Influenza A is the same seasonal flu that goes around every year. Even without the mutation it kills thousands each year. Focus on the positive!
5. Be smart. Cover your face when you sneeze or cough. Wash your hands (proper length of washing time? Sing the Happy Birthday song.) Don't touch doorknobs, ATM keypads, public phones, etc., unless you can wash afterwards. If you can't wash afterwards, dip your hands in molten lava. That should kill the buggers!
6. Masks are worthless unless you have the right kind. Most virus is small enough to pass through surgical masks. Which may explain the mutation of Michael Jackson's face.
7. Avoid children. They are just sniffling, dripping, cauldrons of bacteria anyway.
8. Hang out with dogs. They don't carry or transmit the virus. Plus, they are less annoying than unnecessarily panicked humans.

Hope these tips help keep you healthy!

...you were as cute as me?

Growing apples is a pain in the butt. Especially if you grow organic. The apple maggot is very prevalent in this area and the best way to control them without a pesticide is hand-thinning the fruit. There are some organically acceptable alternatives but with dogs few of them can be used safely. One is corn gluten meal but the smell is really, really bad. My neighbors are pretty tolerant, but that may just cross the line.

On top of that, I don't like apples. Apple juice and applesauce are fine, but I grew up in Washington State and I'm over the whole apple thing. I have the same issues with oranges, but that's another story.

So why do I put in the effort? Because, I give a lot of the fruit away. Most of it will be going to the Stanislaus Wildlife Care Center this year. Many of the animals they take in need fresh fruit and vegetables in their diet. Providing organically grown, healthy fruit will help them heal and grow so they can be returned to their native habitat. Totally worth the hassle.

This lovely critter crashed in my yard. I'm not sure what killed it and I don't use pesticides.



The blossoms are from my apple tree.